L’Hiver de la tristesse

perhaps it is the way that life itself seems to disappear

I am a summertime poet;

I cannot wax lyrical about the bare branches

or frosty earth.

Perhaps it is the fact that the blood,

so warm as it rushes through my core

turns oh so frigid by the time it reaches my fingertips.

Or perhaps it is the way that life itself seems to disappear–

to go into a slumber.

How all that is lush and thriving fails to experience the season of brown and white;

it misses the blinding light reflected off the snowy ground–

the only exception being the ever-luscious evergreen shades of pine and fir.

Or perhaps it is the way my hands crack

from the inside dry air

and then my voice cracks

as I try to speak my thoughts

and then my ribs crack

from bearing the pressure of this seasonal sadness

I hold inside me.

My summer self will one day return–

the self that can write about the trees, the dirt,

the self that holds fiery magic in her hands and feet,

the self that exhales vibrant color onto the page,

the self that heals her own limbs, lungs, and bones

through gentle care and patience.

I hope you’ll still be here to see her in all her glory.

Photo by Dimitry Anikin from Pexels

A few months before this post originally came out, I was having a conversation with the wonderful Alisha J. Steele about this exact poem. This conversation took place during the winter season while I was first beginning to write this piece, and while we were discussing it, I made the prediction that it wouldn’t be finished and ready to post until spring. That prediction turned out to be absolutely accurate, which just further proves the accuracy of the poem itself. I find it so much harder to find beauty in the cold and dark days, but I know it’s there. I just need to keep looking.

7 thoughts on “L’Hiver de la tristesse”

  1. I began reading and said….ahhhh..this is the poem Joy was referring to! And you’re so sweet to remember that convo and mention my name. 🙂

    I love the lines, “and then my ribs crack/from bearing the pressure of this seasonal sadness/I hold inside me.” This rings true for me as well.

    I have grown to enjoy many aspects of winter, though it often lingers far too long and feels like a heavy cloak over my shoulders. I too, find that my inspiration abounds in spring and summer and I eagerly await its return as the days grow longer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Now that the weather is a little warmer and the sun is out longer, I find myself wondering why I was so dramatic about some of the stuff in this one. But those were the feelings that I was experiencing at the time, so I tried to leave a lot of it as is in the editing process.

      Liked by 1 person

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